When I was 5 (or something), I thought this movie was fantastic for all sorts of 5-year-old reasons.

I recently dug up this old gem and watched it again.

In the process, I found this movie has some very divided reviews, ranging from great to “one of the worst Christmas films of all time”.

Probably just nostalgia, but I still think it’s a great film. I tried my best not to review a film here. But, I couldn’t find any good online review that takes a serious look at what they were trying to achieve. So here we are. The film is this weird mashup of ideas, philosophical points, and nuance that makes it interesting. I think these things are overlooked.

Fig 2. Planning your factory

Fig 3. The Patch o’matic super toy constructor.

This film was a key influence on my life when I was extremely young.

Particularly the story of the elf (or Vendegum?!) named Patch who introduces factory automation into Santa’s workshop. More or less, it’s in order to stay relevant and to keep up with the demands of the modern world. And, of course, things go predictably wrong.

In any case, it introduced me to the idea that you can build things that, in turn, build things themselves.

It also makes a statement that being inventive maybe something a little special in its own right. Patch is basically an excited maker who wants to make the world a better place, albeit he’s a little naïve. It’s particularly noteworthy that the people around him treat him differently (he even sleeps away from the others). It’s no surprise he casts himself out at some point.

So, I guess in some way that might be the true origin story for this project.

None of the rest of the film meant anything compared to this.

The end.

…

except

…

Part 2

oh yeah, and then there’s the whole thing about using your tech advantage and media muscle to manipulate the world of 1980’s consumerism

Lots of important lessons for kids on the ethics of trying to realise grandiose dreams.

Fig 4. A lesson on predatory pricing and ethical washing. Patch: “We’re going to give them [the toys] away for free” BZ: “For FREEEE?!?!?!”

Fig 5. A lady-and-the-tramp subplot about disparity. Complete with the McDonalds and Coke placements that the critics complain about. They won guys. That’s part of the point.

Fig 6. And this…. pre Tim Burton puce-extravaganza.

Fig7. and then Santa gets depressed about being no longer relevant.

Anyway, in a quick summary of spoilers, the stuff they put in the reindeer’s food to make them fly: they start putting in lolly-pops to give to kids to make them float for a few minutes.

Which works out just fine.

But then they go into dangerous territory when the business partner has to inevitably scale and monetize the operation. Obviously, to recover the extreme investments it took to get the project off the ground.

Just like <any one of a million companies since then>.

Fig 8. I could go here about the themes connected to QA and technical debt.

Anyway, it’s the classic march-of-progress story. It’s just as much a Metropolis (1927) as it is Superman (1978) that the critics like to compare it to.

It’s the continuous existential fear of tech-empowered corporations abusing their advantage for personal gain. And this film, like many others, exaggerates it ironically for profit as a warning to not take things too far.

Which, in the end, serves an important purpose.

Because, if you are going to start building machines, these things will need to be discussed. Just as it has been for at least 100 years.

Anyway, luckily we don’t have to worry about these things today.

…

Fig 9. Oh yeah…and half of the film is still this kind of thing.

It's gold.

The end.

Stay safe these holidays, and remember.

Fig 5. “If you give extra kisses, you get bigger hugs.” - Mrs. Claus